Before You Know It

Before You Know It is a heartwarming documentary film brought to life in 2013 by the talented filmmaker PJ Raval, featuring the inspiring lives of three gay senior citizens – Dennis Creamer, Ty Martin, and Robert Mainor.

As a documentary film, Before You Know It does not follow a conventional plot, but rather introduces us to the real-life experiences and the daily struggles faced by these three individuals. Dennis, Ty, and Robert, lead different lives in different American cities but have a common thread binding them - their old age and their queerness.

Dennis Creamer is a 70-years-old gay man living in Niceville, Florida, who is still seeking love. For Dennis, the movie showcases his journey, highlighting his life after he decides to come out of the closet, facing the world as his authentic self after seven decades. A complex character, Dennis is seen juggling through the challenges of his newfound identity, living his truth after years of denial, and his search for companionship in his twilight years offers a poignant and heartfelt story.

In another city, in the heart of Harlem, we meet Ty Martin, a strong and vibrant community leader in his mid 60s. Ty's narrative explores the confrontation between his intersectional identity as a black gay man in a predominantly hetero-normative society and the challenges of being a senior citizen. His enthralling story showcases his efforts to build SAGE Harlem (Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders), a community that creates safe spaces for older gay people of color. Ty stands as the resolute fighter, battling racial and sexual discrimination, thus connecting the struggles of race, age, and sexual orientation.

In Galveston, Texas, Robert Mainor runs Robert’s Lafitte - the town’s longest running gay bar where many of the patrons are elderly. He owns and runs the establishment in a colorful and flamboyant manner, widely known for his vivacious parties and drag shows. The film captures his fight against gentrification, keeping the place alive against all odds. Here, the feeling of community is intertwined with the concept of acceptance, love, and freedom for this older demographic that Mainor caters to.

Before You Know It does more than merely offering snapshots into the lives of Dennis, Ty, and Robert. It sheds light on a segment of the population that has largely been overlooked by Hollywood. Today where impetus is being rightly given to depict LGBTQ+ stories, this film focuses on the often-forgotten older generation within the community. Hence, it is both an emotional exploration of the personal lives of its subjects and an insightful social commentary on the broader gay senior citizen community at large. It challenges the stereotypes of ageism and heteronormative societal conventions, presenting a unique intersection of old age and queerness.

Through the anecdotes of these seniors, the audiences embark on a journey far away from the stereotypes of fear and prejudice, moving towards understanding, empathy and acceptance. Their stories provide a rare yet timely delve into the dialogue of age and sexuality, highlighting notions of community, identity, love, prejudice, loneliness, and life in old age in the context of being gay.

While the movie has a social message, it also maintains a balance between levity and gravity making it a deeply engaging and thought-provoking watch. It's neither preachy nor is it only despairing, it's a beautiful blend of the joys and sorrows that make up life.

The film has an observational approach, showcasing the struggles of the protagonists with a sense of delicate realism. It celebrates the resilience, spirit, and unapologetic authenticity of its central characters. The triumvirate of Creamer, Martin, and Mainor bring a broad range of experiences to the fore, each representing a different facet of the gay senior citizens' experience. Their stories collectively form a narrative that is deeply human, and deftly captured by director PJ Raval.

Before You Know It is a very important film, an eye-opener for many, providing a raw and insightful exploration of life as an aging member of the LGBTQ+ community. It is a tale that emphasizes the aspect of human connection through the peculiar experiences of these senior envoys who stood the test of time in the face of adversity. They show us that, irrespective of our ages and sexual orientations, we are all just people seeking acceptance, companionship, and the freedom to be our authentic selves.