First Comes Love

First Comes Love, a film released in 2013, is a compelling and heartfelt documentary that breaks down the conventional perceptions of love, marriage, and family, through its portrayal of modern urban life. Stepping out from behind the camera, the talented filmmaker Nina Davenport becomes the heart and soul of her documentary, inviting us into her intimate world as she grapples with the questions of motherhood, age, and societal meet-the-mark expectations.

The documentary shadows Nina Davenport, a successful New York-based filmmaker in her early forties who, like many women her age, is wrestling with societal and familial expectations of what a traditional life should look like by her age and the reality of her circumstance.

Nina is single and childless which not only puts her at odds with societal norms but sets her on a path that challenges these norms. Her ardent desire to have a child pushes her gently yet unquestionably down the route of single motherhood, exploring the idea of having a child without a partner or a steady male presence in her life. The unconventional decision reverberates through her life and those closely entwined with it.

However, Davenport's journey is not a lonely one. First Comes Love beautifully showcases the strength and depth of friendship through the character of Eric E. Oleson. Eric is Nina's long-time best friend who responds to her untraditional call of fatherhood, ready to offer his sperm for artificial insemination. The relationship between Nina and Eric is one of warmth, support, and unwavering companionship, demonstrating that family is not just an institution defined by blood or legal ties.

While it does start to sound like any other story with the 'friend-zone' plotline, the documentary deviates uniquely with Davenport's narration style. She merges self-reflection with the experiences of her friends and family and offers a perspective on the changing societal norms with a contemporary urban setting as her canvas. The film navigates through her pregnancy journey, amalgamating humor, concern, and raw emotional seismic shifts that happen as one is about to become a parent.

The film also brings to light the role of modern technology in addressing fertility issues, exploring the difficulties a woman might face on the daunting quest to bear a child and the complexities of artificial insemination. As Nina embarks on this journey, it becomes evident that the path to motherhood is not always the fairytale dream that society often portrays it to be. Instead, it can be an emotionally intense journey filled with challenges and rewards in equal measure.

Davenport's candid look into her life and the choice she makes illustrates her as a woman of strength and resilience. She delivers a poignant exploration of the complexities of life, lovingly hinged on the themes of motherhood, the essence of family bonds, and the evolving definition of love in the 21st century. It's not just about her path to motherhood but also about coming to terms with the rollercoaster ride of personal emotions, societal expectations, friendships, and the overall concept of 'normal'.

The documentary's depiction of Nina's father serves as an exemplary reflection of society's traditional mindset. This generational difference between father and daughter, their garnering love for each other, and the struggle for acceptance of an unconventional path, further deepen the thematic exploration of the film.

First Comes Love, therefore, presents an intriguing social commentary that is personal yet universal, humorous yet emotionally charged, daring yet relatable. It redefines the understanding of what constitutes a family in modern society, shedding light on the flexibility of familial ties and the experiences that come with womanhood while celebrating them.

First Comes Love is a unique exploration of what it means to be a single mother by choice in the modern world. The movie draws both sympathy and strength from its authentic and candid representation of a woman's intimate struggle on her journey to motherhood, marking it not as a tale of despair, but a testament to the bracingly limitless bounds of love, in all its incarnations.