I Used to Be Darker

I Used to Be Darker is a thought-provoking independent drama directed by Matt Porterfield. The 2013 movie stars Deragh Campbell, Hannah Gross, and Ned Oldham, among others. It presents a poignant and honest depiction of family dynamics, estrangement, and the quest for self-discovery. The movie skilfully employs a minimalist aesthetic and a rich soundtrack that enhances its narrative and provides a variety of textures that match the complexity of its themes.

In the film, Deragh Campbell plays Taryn, a Northern Irish runaway who finds refuge with her relatives in the US. On the verge of personal collapse, Taryn unexpectedly arrives at the doorsteps of her aunt Kim (Kim Taylor) and uncle Bill (Ned Oldham), who are in Baltimore, Maryland. However, unbeknownst to Taryn, her aunt and uncle are in the midst of a very tumultuous separation.

As an increasingly overlooked presence in their home, Taryn unexpectedly becomes a silent witness to the domestic tension and the dissolution of her relatives' marriage. The narrative focuses not just on Taryn's own displacement and her struggle to belong, but also the alienation and raw emotional pain experienced by Kim and Bill. You can see how their once thriving love story has now turned into a challenging saga of painful rediscovery of themselves as individuals.

Meanwhile, Hannah Gross brilliantly portrays Abby, Kim and Bill’s resentful and jaded daughter, who also has her struggles. Through her character, the film portrays a realistic picture of youthful disillusionment and the effects of a breaking family on an emerging adult. Her bitterness at the world, in general, is magnified by her parents' crisis, causing an apparent gap with Taryn whose arrival she seems to see as an intrusion.

The magic of I Used to Be Darker lies not in high intensity dramatic moments, but rather in the fine subtleties - the quiet turmoil, the unspoken resentment, the unsure glances and the forced smiles. These all contribute to a complex emotional landscape that is as beautiful as it is intense. Porterfield's script, co-written by Amy Belk, delves deep into its characters' emotional turmoils and uncovers truths about family, love, and personal growth with great sensitivity.

Moreover, the performances in the film are remarkable. Campbell, Gross, and Oldham give compelling performances, backed by an equally impressive supporting cast. Each character is deeply fleshed out, and viewers are likely to be moved by their beautifully flawed humanity. Ned Oldham and Kim Taylor, who are musicians in real life, also lend much needed authenticity and depth to the roles of Bill and Kim, two artists who are grappling with their failing relationship while coping with their floundering artistic careers.

Another stand-out feature of this film is its innovative use of music. Music is almost like an additional character in this film, not just for Bill and Kim, but as a representation of the emotional undertones running through the entire piece. The subtle strumming of a guitar, a melancholic melody, or a deep soulful song help in revealing the raw and understated emotions of the characters and setting the mood of the scenes.

The cinematography is also noteworthy. Jeremy Saulnier's lens captures the essence of the tale with understated drama, shifting between atmospheric landscapes and intimate indoor spaces. One can almost feel the brewing tension and emotional intensity within the confines of the Baltimore home, and the visual narrative complements the intricate complexities of the human emotion being portrayed.

In conclusion, I Used to Be Darker is real and raw, a beautiful tapestry of everyday life and the universal human condition. It moves at its own steady pace, never rushing and never wasting a moment. It examines the intricacies of interpersonal relationships, the challenges of self-realisation, and the internal struggle to find oneself amidst life’s constant changes. Porterfield's film tells a contemplative narrative that offers no easy answers but leaves the viewers with much to think about long after the credits roll. It's a meditative exploration of family, identity, love, and the essence of being – highly recommended for those who appreciate indie cinema and profound storytelling.