I Want What I Want

I Want What I Want is a British drama film from 1972, directed by John Dexter, notable for tackling the often neglected and misunderstood topic of gender dysphoria during a time when such topics were little discussed or understood. The film stars Anne Heywood, Harry Andrews, and Jill Bennett in key roles.

Anne Heywood appears in a powerful and potentially career-defining role as Roy/Wendy, a very troubled individual grappling with his gender identity. Roy, a young man, feels trapped in the wrong body and has the desperate desire to live his life as a woman named Wendy Ross. This film takes a poignant and sensitive dive into the journey of Roy's transformation into Wendy, unmasking the strikingly profound issues of identity and acceptance.

Harry Andrews gives a compelling performance as the stern, domineering father, above ground station officer and confirmed bachelor, who insists that his son conforms to societal norms and traditional gender roles. The intense father-son dynamics and the constant struggle between societal expectations and personal happiness form a critical part of the film's narrative.

Jill Bennett features as Roy's supportive and understanding sister, Margaret, providing that much-needed familial support but also grappling with her own opinions and emotions on the matter. Her character arc lends an emotional layer to the film, marking the journey of acceptance among the loved ones of people transitioning.

The film provides an intense, gritty portrayal of a young man’s determination to come to terms with his true self. From Roy's mundane, monotonous life in his father's home to his brave, life-altering decision of transforming into Wendy, Heywood captures the physical and emotional transition brilliantly, baring the agonizing pain and the liberation of embracing one's true identity.

What makes I Want What I Want particularly remarkable is its treatment of the subject. Despite being scripted in a time when conversations around gender and identity were limited and stigmatized, it boldly delves into the heart of such complexities. It offers a stark portrayal of the torment Wendy goes through, from overcoming societal prejudices, dealing with loneliness, exploring her newfound femininity to rebuilding her life at the very basics of existence.

The film has powerful performances, including a stellar one by Heywood, highlighting every nuance of Wendy’s life and journey. Harry Andrews, as a domineering father, is chillingly realistic, and Jill Bennett as the understanding yet conflicted sister brings another dimension to the narrative. Collectively, they provide a poignant, emotional thrust that draws viewers into Wendy's world.

The cinematography by Director of Photography, Larry Pizer, adds to the film's overall gravitas, often using dim lighting to represent the shadowy margins of society where Wendy initially finds herself trapped. The dreary English seaside town and the buzzing urban backdrop of London serve as important components contriving the environment in which Wendy’s character blooms.

John Dexter directs with a sympathetic yet unflinching eye, maintaining a truthful narrative without falling into the trap of sensationalizing the sensitive subject matter. The story, based on the original novel by Geoff Brown, is thoughtful and profound, making I Want What I Want a movie that is decades ahead of its time.

The film is not just a pioneering effort in representation, but also a humane tale of self-discovery, acceptance, and liberation. Though the film is certainly shaped by the mores of its era, it still stretches bravely into territory that makes it far ahead of its time, making it not only a transgressive work but also an important document of gender representation in the history of cinema.

In the end, I Want What I Want serves as a sensitive portrayal of a topic that's still pressing today. It is a fine testament to the struggle and triumph of living a life true to one's identity, marking it as a significant film to revisit for not only its audacious representation but also for its compassionate human storytelling. It reminds us that understanding and acceptance have always been the cornerstones of all human experiences, including understanding ourselves and the world we inhabit.