That Which I Love Destroys Me

"That Which I Love Destroys Me" is a powerful and heart-piercing documentary that aired on Pivot in 2015. Directed by Ric Roman Waugh, this documentary is a brutally honest and unfiltered portrayal of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) experienced by servicemen and women upon their return from war zones.

That Which I Love Destroys Me captures the disturbing aftermath of combat experiences on veteran servicemen - former Special Operations Command operator Jayson Floyd and former Army Ranger Tyler Grey. The film provides a captivating look at these two warriors, who are not just physically scarred but deeply wounded on the inside. Visceral and profound, the documentary fearlessly investigates the price they pay for dedicating their bodies and lives to serving their country.

The documentary primarily focuses on the psychological trauma that endures long after the physical wounds have healed. It tactfully depicts the unseen struggle of veterans grappling with PTSD and the often-taboo topic of mental health in the military. We witness the continuous battles they face within their consciousness and the isolation they suffer while trying to reintegrate into a civilian society that struggles to understand the depth and consequences of their sacrifices.

Director Ric Roman Waugh, with his keen observational skills and empathetic storytelling, presents the narrative with extreme sensitivity. He tries to represent PTSD not just as an abstract concept but a horrifyingly real aftermath of war. The interviews of the veterans, their close-ups, and their confessions laid bare drive home the magnitude and depth of their agony.

That Which I Love Destroys Me exploits every opportunity to initiate a dialog around the exceedingly high rates of soldier suicides, alarming self-harm cases, and other mental health issues related to serving in the military. Though it is a soul-wrenching ride, it is equally uplifting and insightful, offering intimate glances of the veterans’ willingness to stay alive, their desperate fight to return to a semblance of 'normal' life, their desire to reclaim their humanity and reintegrate into societal norms.

This documentary is not limited to veterans’ perspectives alone, but it expands to include expert opinions from renowned psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists. These insights help viewers better understand PTSD, its triggers, its impact, the available treatments, and how society can play a proactive role in helping veterans in their struggle.

Through the heartrending anecdotes shared by Jayson Floyd and Tyler Grey, the documentary encourages viewers to empathize with their plight and encourages a conversation around the stigma regarding mental health within and beyond the military. The spotlight is not just on the heavy toll of war but a plea for recognition, understanding, and support.

"That Which I Love Destroys Me" is definitely not about glorifying the tragedy of war or sensationalizing the people who serve. It is a fight for awareness, a call for compassion and understanding, an illumination of the dark corners of a soldier's mind that no war movie or thriller can accurately represent. It showcases the strength and resilience within humanity, reminding us that heroes are human too, carrying heavy, often unseen, burdens.

This documentary makes a strong statement, reminding viewers about the responsibilities we bear as a society. It encourages a dialogue about war, the price of freedom, and the haunting echo of battle waged deep within a soldier's mind. It's a stark reminder that war not only affects the soldiers in the front line but also seeps into the fabric of society, touching loved ones, friends, families, and communities.

"That Which I Love Destroys Me" is a moving exploration into the shadows of the human psyche, the war that rages within, and the stubborn hope that never dies. By peering into the lives and hearts of Jayson Floyd and Tyler Grey, the viewer is given a non-sensationalized, truthful, and profoundly moving account of a reality that is often untold. It is definitely worth watching for anyone seeking a raw and real understanding of PTSD and its impact on veterans' lives. It is an unforgettable ride that stays with the viewer, fostering empathy and instigating action; an eloquent plea for understanding and support in the face of an often invisible but devastating struggle.